My stand-up comedy script #2

As I walked through the valley of death..oh crap must stop reading the bible when am on the internet! anyway this is one of my earlier ones that I wrote and I modified it a teeny bit and added it up!


#2 want somebody to love?

Speaking of happiness, one other thing comes to mind..the absolutely crazy thing
called love(I do not have copyright of this song from Queen)

For centuries people have been searching for the meaning of this really paranormal
phenomenon.Its a wonder it didnt make it big on an episode of the X-Files!! Why..It
has even driven people mad! Some even think that their existance is worthless without
this so called Love!..so they kill themselves..preferably with something that will not
cause too much pain..we dont want to spoil the glamour of the whole situation now do
we? Then the geniuses they think have made the ultimate sacrifice! Its not a
chicken..its not a sheep..not a cow..it you who is dead..idiot! To me the only
sacrifice they have done is rid the world of 2 kg's of shit a day!!

There also are these confused people who spend hours trying to figure out if love is
the neurons in their brain or the bulge in their pants!..I say when in doubt..off with
the pants!!!

Some smooth operators however leave the matchfixing to their mom..how convenient..this
way they dont have to think too hard or kill themselves.For mom though, its quality
time at the supermarket!..look theres brand A tall, Fair,Perfect teeth..oh and nice
boobs! perfect for my son!I say you have been forced to love a girl who is a
perfect match for your mom!

Then there are these cool types who think love is a four letter word..well, so is F***
and A*** and the rest of it!!!!

Well ladies and gentlemen..if you fall in none of the above categories..you probably
are gay..No no..Nothing to be ashamed of, or alarmed about..they make babies in test
tubes these days..hell if that fails, go clone a sheep!!!!